Diary Entry A (2)

I begin to go through the data.

The words written here were directly from Father’s memories.

……………………

“Do you have prayer beads¹?” It was the first time in a few months that Kinari initiated a conversation with me.

(……As Father wrote.)

His face was pale as a sheet. I initially thought it’d been because he was feeling ill, but when I saw that his fingertips were trembling and his eyes were brimming with fear, I realized that such was not the case.

“Prayer beads… I have them, but what do you need them for?”

As I asked this, my son’s eyes narrowed as he stared at me.

“You didn’t see the news?”

Since I’ve been busy with research that can cure his illness, I’ve not had the time to watch the TV. Seeing that I had no answer, Kinari darted his eyes downward, “The one that’s been causing all this chaos everywhere right now.”

“...That somebody from a dangerous cult killed their own son.”

Upon hearing him say it, I remembered reading something similar in a newspaper the other day. I felt sick to my stomach to know that others would be willing to take their own child’s life rather than to let them experience it with others. It is why I decided not to look into it further.

“The male high school student who was killed went to the same school as me.”

Kinari threw out the words that were stuck in his throat. Before he knew it, his fists were clenched and he was quivering terribly.

My son appeared to be holding something back from me, yet I didn’t know what else I could tell him. Instead, I stood up and looked for the prayer beads he’d been asking for, and handed it along with a fukusa². He then replied, “Thanks,” in a soft voice.

He prepared to depart, still wearing his uniform.

“Going to the funeral?”
“...Yeah.”

The conversation ended there, and he left for the hall without another word.

After my son left, I turned on the TV. Then, I took a few newspapers from the pile that I meant to dispose of a while back.

——The victim was Kinouchi Tao, an average high school boy.

This headline caught my eye. The school that he attended was indeed the very same one Kinari goes to.

Daytime variety shows and the like presented relationship charts of the people who were involved in the incident. Still, most of what the spotlight was on was the gruesome quality of the case. And so, the media ate up the details of the case as if it were some sort of spectacle.

“It seems that it was a middle school boy, the victim’s younger brother, who had reported his parents’ crimes to the police.”
“So then, they were arrested ASAP? Is the younger brother doing alright?”
“His older brother’s funeral service is happening today, and only family members would be in attendance so I’m fairly certain some other relatives are also involved.”

“The suspects were reportedly in a state of delirium and kept repeating that their son was the son of God. The corpse was never found, either.”

“Those psycho parents must’ve chopped up the body and threw it into the mountains.”

With the commentators prattling on about whatever they’d like as well as the host enabling them, I got fed up and turned off the TV.

I thought of how pale Kinari had been and suddenly felt a pit in my stomach. What should I do if he has an attack at the funeral hall? I could only sit with my unease until he returned.

……………………

…………………… (Is what is written in this diary entry…)

…………………… (...true?)

When he returned, the sun had already sunken far below. While I stood near the entrance waiting for him, I noticed that his eyes had gotten red and swollen from crying, and felt a pang in my chest.

I couldn’t believe that the boy who was murdered in that incident was my son’s friend. All I could think of was Kinari right in front of me, who looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment.

“Kinari…” Not knowing what to say, I called out to him. But the moment I did, tears began to spill over from his eyes.

“It wasn't supposed to be like this. Why did Tao have to die? He should’ve lived a full, long life outliving me…” 

What should I say for our parting words?

When should I tell you that I’ll be dying soon?

The person who was anxious about these kinds of things was me.

Kinari mumbled in a devastated voice, his fists pounding against the walls of the entryway. There was no other outlet for his anger—his grief. 

Before I knew it, he was leaning against the wall, as if breaking down completely.

“Goz is saying that he’s not dead. His little brother is working with the authorities to keep searching for him.” Kinari said in a soft, whisper-like voice.

“I want to do something too. ...But what's the point if I'm going to die soon anyway?”

I don't want to die right in front of Goz's eyes.

“I hate this. He's Goz's best friend, so why did it have to be Tao?!”

His words escaped him and he stomped his foot. With as much power that he could muster, with as much force as he could use. As if he had found something he despised.

“Damn it all…”

He kicked the steps at the entryway.

“DAMN IT ALL!”

I can only watch as more of his tears welled up and subsequently fell to the floor.

“If it's going to be like this, then it’s better if I just forgot everything!”

There's nothing I can do for them, so I’m better off forgetting everything and living without these feelings!

He cried out. 

A flurry of powerful emotions welled up inside me. It was as if Kinari’s blazing blue life force intensified within a second’s breath, seeking to burn away everything in its path to ash. 

“Tao’s death and my own powerlessness to do anything… The fact.. The fact that I’ll probably die soon…”

I want to forget it all!

I couldn’t utter another word to my son, who was sobbing and yelling.

Please wait for me a little longer. Once my research is completed, I’ll surely cure you of your illness.

So that you may mourn the dear friend you lost for a long, long time. So that one day, all of the pain you’ve been enduring will turn into something to laugh at.

I swear to give you the future, so that’s why…

…………………….

…………………….

……I open my eyes.

“This is the first time I’ve seen this data...”

I speak out loud without thinking. In the personal records of “Azekawa Kinari” shelved in my memory, such a conversation between father and son does not exist.

It is also why, for the very first instance, I have come into contact with memories involving Tao and the Original.

Why would the Developer separate this information into a different data chip?

“...As I thought, it is strange. Even if the facts state that they were classmates, there is, after all, a discrepancy in the timeline between his and the Original’s ages.”

In the first place, is it even possible for the murder victim in the diary entry and the Kinouchi Tao I do idol activities with to be the same person?

…A large secret must be buried deep here.

This topic must be difficult to discuss, so I refrain from thinking of interrogating him for the time being. Instead, I must choose the right time to inquire about this major contradiction.

Then, I look back on the Tao that I know.

He has a charming smile that most people love and a soothing voice. A kind and transparent person. A dear friend who taught me to think of Ev3ns as a family.

...With all of these factors in mind, I can conclude that the probability of Tao lying is zero.

I check the text yet again. But at that moment, I notice something was off.

“I’m better off forgetting everything and living without these feelings!”

Looking at it closely, the font where the Original ‘cried out’ was different. Once I further analyze this discrepancy, a new entry pops up.

“11500221002…”

It is of the N-Ary cipher, and it is not that difficult to decode. It would take no time at all to decipher and ultimately took a second to finish.

“......AMNESIA?”

[ The screen glitches for a second... ]

Once I recognize that word, a crackling noise sweeps across my vision.

Before I knew it, the text files had disappeared. Though I was viewing them just a moment ago, they are not in my logs nor in my backup storage. Even the memory chip in the slot is now empty.

“What just happened?”

Is this what others meant by feeling ‘at a loss for words’?³ I run a thorough system check within my body, but there aren’t any major issues to report. It appears to be that some sort of program has been installed, although it is not activating for whatever reason.

…Must I complete several conditions for it to activate?

I hear Kuguri let out a groan as if he was having a nightmare. I must have woken him up with my own comments. On Raito’s end, he was peacefully fast asleep. I thought it’d be best to call it off for now so as not to wake them.

Once I remove the data chip, I retire into sleep mode.

There's nothing I can do for them, so I’m better off forgetting everything and living without these feelings!

As I drift into sleep, I feel as though I can hear the Original’s voice, from deep within the darkness…

“OKAY! SO! I’mma head to school right now so uhh, Kinari-san, ‘bout that favor I asked of ya…”

“Understood, Isotake-sama. I shall prepare all 50 pieces of bamboo shoots from a nearby grove, and await your arrival.”
“Kinari-saaaan, you’re seriously GOATED!”

“Huuuuh? Oi, Idiotake, the hell kinda stuff are you bothering Azekawa-san for?”

“Thank you for your concern as always, Kurama-sama.”

“I-It’s not like I was worried… I.. All I was saying is that you don’t have to listen to everything humans tell you to do just because you’re a robot!”

While Kurama-sama was busy explaining with his reddened face, Isotake-sama rushes out of the foyer like a sudden gust of wind. This naturally prompts Kurama-sama to run after him. Kaguya-sama, who was just finishing putting on his shoes, follows suit, reprimanding, “Uu-chan, don’t get so angry now.”

“Please take care on your way.”
“Yes. I am grateful that you always see us off, Azekawa-san. It’s as though it is necessary to stand straight whenever you bid us safe travels. I must express my thanks.”

“That statement is a bit of an exaggeration, but I am glad you think so regardless.”

After Kaguya-sama leaves, Nanamegi-sama and Kinugawa-sama then call out to me. It was a morning like any other.

“Oh yeah, Kiroku and I were thinking of what ice cream to get for everyone in the dorms after school. There’s a Studio Ghizli movie airing on TV tonight, so.”
“I was thinking that.. it might be.. nice to eat ice cream.. with everyone while watching…”

The thought of such a kind gesture brings a smile to my lips. Seeing everyone in the Noon Team in their uniforms reminds me of the Original.

“Azekawa-san.. what ice cream.. do you want…?”
“Feel free to tell us your requests.”

“Anything is fine,” I reply.

[ The screen glitches for a second time. ]

“Gotta be Jumbo Monaca, won’t feel like I’ve eaten anything if I haven’t had that.”

For some reason, Nanamegi-sama and Kinugawa-sama were staring at me in utter astonishment.

“Is something the matter?”

“Must’ve been hearing things,” and “That.. might be it…” were what the two of them replied when I quizzed them about their strange reactions. They depart from the dormitory right after.

From beyond the foyer, I watch their white uniforms glisten beneath the morning sun.

…I suddenly think of him, the Original, wondering if he had such peaceful mornings like this.

If that were the case, would he still wish to forget everything about such a tranquil yet unforgettable day?

But, as always, the answer to this question is—“I don’t know.”